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A question that I hope someone can help me with... [26 Aug 2004|07:10pm]

[ mood | curious ]

I joined this community a while back and am now posting for the first time. I think I was holding off to make sure I couldn't take care of the issues myself before asking someone else about them. >> I am interested in the prospects of both taking and giving advice; I've even been told I'm particularly good with the latter. But I digress.

I am impressed with this community and I trust you with a problem that I've been dealing with lately. I hope someone can help me out.

Problem lurks here.Collapse )


1 comment|post comment

To get conversations started. [16 Jun 2004|12:55pm]

[ mood | pensive ]

How many piercings do you all have? And what are they? What was your first?

And how many have you done yourself as opposed to having them professionally done?

I have ten piercings, and I've done five of my own.

My answersCollapse )

2 comments|post comment

[14 Nov 2003|07:34pm]


hey everyone, i know its been a while since anyone has posted. i've been extremely busy with school so i really haven't had the time to keep up with it..that goes for jackie too. we would like to see things get started up again, so please tell people about the community and post if you need advice! =)


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[22 Jul 2003|08:27pm]

ok, let me see if anyone on here can help me...

click me if you want toCollapse )
10 comments|post comment

hmhh [22 Jul 2003|04:31pm]

Ok..well I'm sitting here thinking..It's going to be very long becaus right now I'm very confused and scared..i'm 16 year old..well anyways..My best friend Rob Killed himself on June 29,2002.It was a year last month..it's been a struggle.since..

Rob was 20 going to be 21..I was totally head over heals since the day I met him..he was my everything..whenever u would see me u would see Rob.I did not have a lot of support..I got put down and made fun of..and Rob was always there for me..sicne the age of 13 i was I guess different..At 13 years old I dated a guy that was 18..in that relationship I was mentally and physically abused.. yea..well anyways..it lasted almost 2 years..sicne then.I Have no self confidence..I do'nt know what it was but Rob was always there giving me a shoulder to cry on he was my best friend..when I od..in 8th grade Rob was the only oen that came and visted me. and so on..he believed in me..Rob told me when I turned 16..he would be with me..if I still wanted to..no question I did..but anways..

that all changed..I had a date that night..and he told me to call him when I got home..I did.. and I found out..he shot himeslf in the head..no answers why ora nything..Rob always told me..that is the easy wayt out..it's the simple way out..and since then I have not been myself.It's been a year yes and I'm not over it at all for some rason..I mean I go to the grave many times a week and cry and cry..I blame myself for him killing himself because I feel like if I did not count on rob as much he would of been alive..

I'm dealing with depression now..and I'm dealing with life.whenever I had a problem I would always put it off..Rob was always there helping me out..i don't have that anymore..i don't know how to deal..

I have no SELF confidence..No support..and no hope..

my friends want to me to be able to trust I can't..because the last person I did..killed himeslf..

i have 3 people I trust with everything..my boyfriend..and my best friend michelle and my dad.. thats it..it's getting very hard..I don't want to live but I know I'm trying to prove Rob and my dad Wrong..because I'm stronger or so people think..

I don't know how to get over it..no one understands how much Rob means to me.I don't know how to dela with it..

it's like I'm giving up on life and I'm giving up on myself..I'm no longer happy..I fake it,no one seems to notice besides my best friend..I'm giving up..life is getting harder and harder for me..and I really see no point to live..I'm very unhappy and I only see one way out..but yet I'm living..I don't understand why i'm living and he is gone..

I know one of the main reason i'm living is for my dad..my dad has been another support since Rob killed himself.I stoped cutting for my dad and just recently started up again..I know it's wrong..but whatever..My dad hurt me in the worst possible way..my dad is very sick..he had a heart attack almost 2 yaers ago..And I know eh's not going to make it a long time..and he's smokeing on top of that..and it just hurts cause me and my dad promised..eachother if he stoped smokeing I would stop cutting..well I stoped and he stayed the same..

the other person would be for Michelle 10 years of a friendship that girl I go to with everything I don't know what I would do with out her..she's my hope and my joy..I'm lost with out her..but yet her mom hates me..I don't know..

and Brian..my love..he's my everything and has no idea how I feel because I can't open up..I have walls and so I don't get hurt..he's willing to be there for me..I just feel I'm going to loose him like i have lots everything else..I am in love with him..knowing he doies not know I'm cutting he's going to be very hurt..

I don't believe in god..because i feel if he was real..he would of saved my best friend..

deep deep insdie I know hers there I just don't truely believe.

I don't know what 2 do anymore..I'm soo confused.I want to know so bad why Rob did this..

I lost 4 of the cloest people to me..in 3 months all 2gether..

Rob he shot himself,keith died in a car crash,Sarah she od at a parry and Scott..He shot himself at work..this was all in 3 months timing..

I no longer have any idea of what 2 do..I don't want to be judged..because I'm not crazy..I'm just very depressed..and don't understand this..

14 comments|post comment

[14 Jul 2003|11:14pm]

[ mood | drained ]

i want to run away i need a place to hide away i want to leave my house please what can i do my life is falling apart i want to die

4 comments|post comment

[14 Jul 2003|11:42am]

i had this really crazy dream, would anybody here be able to analyze it for me?
6 comments|post comment

Unspoken words [06 Jul 2003|07:38pm]

[ mood | confused ]

Okay...so I just came back from italy where i met this guy named Marco. Now usually I'm very uncomfortable around guys...but after getting to know Marco within 10 days I began to notice that I was quite comofortable with him...and was actually begining to like him very much. I wouldn't say that I love him...for usually love doesn't come in 10 days...but I felt and still feel a very strong connection to him. I can tell that he's been hurt before, though, and I could tell that he didn't want to get close to me like that, even though we were practically inseperable on the tour and were closer than any of the other kids there. We taught each other songs on the piano...I even know his goddamn favorite cereal (french toast crunch hehe) but anyway...the very last day we said goodbye without revealing anything to each other. I was too scared to tell him anything and he didn't say anything to me. he doesnt go online much, but he did email me today which gave me some hope since he told me that he doesnt really keep in touch with too many people that he meets in or out of school. i want to tell him how i feel but i dont want to scare him and id much rather tell him in person. the problem is that hes 18, lives in pennsylvania (i live in new jersey), and hes going to college next year (im 16). i dont want to let go of something that could have been great.what should i do?

6 comments|post comment

Going Crazy... [04 Jul 2003|12:30am]

I'm gonna try to make this as short and simple as possible...I'm so glad I found this community! I searched and searched through other ones and this seems like exactly the type I was looking for.

Anyway, about 2 months ago, I went on this overnight field trip for a vocal competition with my choir. On the first day of the trip, this one guy I didn't know to well in choir began to take interest in me. So I decided to take interest in him (even though I was a senior and he was a freshman...I know it's messed up). Anyway, we ended up hooking up every day during the trip. From day one, I had felt used by him...Because he'd get me to fool around with him, then he'd go and try to flirt with another girl. I'd be angry for awhile but I'd soon forget about it when he wanted to spend time with me. I knew I was being used and while I didn't enjoy that, I felt so good when I was with him. I was totally falling for him...and I was seeing things in him that no one had bothered to see in him before (like...everyone i know pretty much hates him...except for me).

After we got back, at school, stories and rumors were being spread. At first I heard that he was the one saying it...I didn't know if it was true or not and honestly, I didn't care because I was used to having people talk about my relationships and stuff. I don't really care for it but it was just a fact of life at my school that people would talk. About a week after we got home, he still hadn't spoken to me since the last night of the trip...So I went up to him and asked him to talk and he said no. I figure now that it probably wasn't the best thing to do...We weren't alone and I was still bitter...

I let a few weeks past. In that time, he started flirting with all these other girls again and got no where. For awhile I was too angry to look at him...but after those few weeks, we started looking at each other again. No words were exchanged...but we'd just stare at each other...Like we both wanted to say something but we never really got the chance because we were never alone and we were both afraid of what the other would say...

I knew time was running out...I was graduating and I'm leaving town next month so I knew I had to do something. However, we never got alone to talk. I figured that I would just go up to him at my graduation but it was so crowded that I didn't find him.

So that just broke my heart...I really wanted to speak with him that night and I didn't. That was a week ago. And in that week...actually, since the time we got involved, I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. It's making me crazy. I seriously think that there must be something wrong with me that I'm not able to just let this stupid situation go. Once in awhile I try to forget about it...But then again, I know I had something with him and I don't want to let it go.

A couple of nights ago, a friend was able to get a hold of his screen name for me. I haven't used it...I've wanted to...But I'm just afraid that it'll be weird just randomly IMing him since we haven't had a good conversation in 2 months and everything...

Anyway, my main issue is that I just can't get over this...Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get some closure? It's the only thing I think about...I seriously think I'm alienating some friends...I know that eventually I'll move on...but right now I have a ton of time on my hands with summer and all I do is sit around and think about how I should have done stuff differently and all that...And now I'm even allowing myself to get depressed.

Sorry it was so long...I just had to get it off my chest. Thanks for letting me vent. :)
7 comments|post comment

[28 Jun 2003|08:55pm]

yesterday i was in the car with my sister and she said i am mean to her. i know im a bitch to her, but its because of the way she treats my parents. i can't help how i feel. i don't like her and she is always hitting me up for money. i have to lie to her and say i don't have access to it. any ideas how to cope with her, please.
1 comment|post comment

[27 Jun 2003|11:32pm]

hey everyone we are collecting more members every day. i hope you are enjoying the community, and participating as much as possible. please do me and favor and post the link whenever you get a chance. thanks! shrink_ology

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rachel's not allowed to give an opinion on this =) lol. [25 Jun 2003|10:23am]

[ mood | bouncy ]

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ok - let's just put it this way. me&my boyfriend (it's been a little over a month) have done A LOT together. emotionally and physically. the problem iiiis that he lacks a lot in the emotional department. i've tried to tell him how i've felt - and he just acts like nothing is wrong and that 'i'm flipping out over nothing'. and it does get me upset, but i care about him SO MUCh that i don't know what else i can do or what else i should do. should i wait it out, should i keep pushing how i feel, should i hint at sometimes how i feel? ah. lol. =\
9 comments|post comment

Oh...my [25 Jun 2003|01:10am]

[ mood | crushed ]

Okay for quite sometime I have had a huge problem relating to others, and really just connecting with anyone. Heh I claim often that I dont need anyone, and that quite frankly I just dont want anything to do with people. I want to have so much more out of life......im only seventeen, and I think often. Mostly about what's next, and why im here. Whats my purpose......Ah well just recently a long distance relationship I had ended with my 2 year obsession named Chris. I loved that guy alot, we went through alot. It became long distance once I moved over to Germany. I originally lived in Chicago. Newayz he cut it off once he just started doubting how I felt about him. It hurt alot when this happended...it was as if through everything that happended, it meant nothing. I come to later see he wanted to hook up with some girl in his area. Which im not angry, I just want to know why he never told this to my face. This guy just gets me.....seriously. Im pretty finicky about the guys I have chosen, but him....he's different. God Dammit I sound cliche. Alright im angry, upset, I feel trapped quite often. Living in Germany it's been a huge adjustment, since I missed my friends so very much, Chris.......
Im fuckin rambling...alright....I know what I want, and what I wanted from Chris was a commitment for always and forever. Because of this distance it's making me sick. We're over and not even talking nemore. Im moving on, and I find myself not wanting him to get even in contact with me. It's not worth it.....he made me feel high for about 6 months, than out of nowhere things just arent up to what he wants. I dont know how I feel....I have mixed feelings...why is this? It bothers me, I hate him once, than the next I fuckin cant stop missing him. It either goes one or the other.... Heh why is this so confusing??? God I need a clear head.

5 comments|post comment

Teen Nudist camps?? [24 Jun 2003|01:17pm]

[ mood | hungry ]

Have any of you heard about this? It seems that in my homestate they are having NUDIST CAMPS for kids 11 to 18! What do you all think about this?


All I have to say, is yes.. I feel being nude is a very natural thing and because I'm sort of uncomfortable with my body, I don't ever walk around nude. But the fact that kids in this awkward age group are being naked... Don't you think them being that age may expose them to certain things?? How could a 15 year boy look at a young girl and not become aroused? I'm sorry but I'm not convinced that a boy wouldn't.. I doubt a 15 year old boy is just thinking of this "natural state" rather than "how good that girls boobs look." I dunno.. Just seems kindawrong to me.. Feed it to meh baby

11 comments|post comment

i need boy help more then anything now... [23 Jun 2003|09:17pm]

[ mood | lonely ]

ok i need help.

Here my dillema. My boyfriend and I just recently broke up. We have been going out for 16 months and have been having a rough time lately. His name is Darren. In the past 2 weeks we have broken up and gotten back together 4 times. It hurts sooo much when he breaks up with me. He is my soul mate. He has helped me through all my stuggles. He was my FIRST and that means more to me then anything. Since we broke up i havn't seen him except for yesterday. A friend of mine was getting together with one of his friends so we decided to go along. We had a great time. We went bowling and then afterwards we went and walked on the beach. He kept asking me for a hug and i gave him them when he wanted them. We hugged 3 times. My friend decided she was going to leave because he other friend called and needed a ride or something so Darren invited me back to his house. We started doing stuff when we got there and he stopped me and told me that he isn't sure that he can do this. Then he told me that he doesn't want to get back together with me at all. That hurt a lot. I would have walked 100000 miles for that boy. I started to cry and he held me. He told me he would always be there for me and that i can always talk to him. Then we kissed. That kiss led to other things and..im not going to go into detail but yah. He dropped me off at my friends house @ 12:20 because we were supposed to be there at 12:30 and she wanted to be a bit early. When he left i asked him "do you have any regrets about tonight?" and he said "no" and then we kissed..long...and then he said he loved me and got in his car and left. Now i dont know how everyone else would take that but i took it as he wanted to get back together and that we basically were back together but i guess the thing is we arn't. I called him this morning and he told me he was busy and i asked him if he wanted to hang out and he said he wasn't sure, he didnt' know what was going on. So i was like..ok will you call me later and he said yah. Well 7 rolls around and no call...so i take it upon myself and call him. I ask him if we are hanging out and he says that's not a good idea. and i ask him what he thought about last night and he said to me that he's not sure that that was a good idea and he thinks i got the wrong message from it. Im not sure what to do..what message would you have gotten...

im so lost and i have no idea what to do please help me...

8 comments|post comment

[23 Jun 2003|08:27pm]

whats a good curling iron...
2 comments|post comment

[23 Jun 2003|06:13pm]

hey guys i have a question..why do girls help guys even when they are idiots?
8 comments|post comment

Hey,just joined! [22 Jun 2003|08:26pm]

Ii really wanna be a child therapist when im older,ive already started taking classes to train. Ive been through a lot in my life,you name it,its happened,or happened to people close to me,thats why im so interested in helping other people,but Ican share my experiences and help others.

For the suicide thing:
You can never really understand how people could do something like that to themselves,but your right,it is pretty selfish. Bbut,you have to understand that some people are just so unhappy that they cant take it anymore. They want to take the easy way out of it instead of dealing with it calmly,and resort to suicide. My cousin was so afraid of telling people her problems,and consulting with others,that she decided to end her life. She was so tired of living each day in pain,that she wanted to get it all over with. I tried to help her,but there isnt much you can do,its the persons choice. Basically,its just the easy way out,thats all I can say. Im sure the people who do this to themselves are aware that people around them love them,they just dont think its enough. When yyour extremely depressed,its like everything around you shuts down,you arent aware of much anymore. But yeah..i dont what to say really on this subject..but thats about as good as i can do. eh..just wait fer something im good at :D
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[21 Jun 2003|11:39pm]

great idea for a community, guys! although i don't need advice often and suck at giving it, i joined, just to be with you cool kids.

rach: that guy is SUCH a weirdo!
and jackie: hi!:)

and as for suicide:
i really can't judge those who do it. some people's lives really are SO bad and some people have problems in the head, or chemical inbalances. we have problems with depression & anxiety in my family, and everyone wants me to take meds for it, but i've decided that medicine isn't the answer to those problems. some people, however, really need help. death is always sad, though.. whether it's planned or not, or expected or not.
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